Fire is Life
by rosebud896
Summary: Azula is receiving treatment in the assylum. On her sixteenth psychiatrist, she is asked about her first memory. We learn about this memory from the seventeenth. A few one-shots. The chapters may be used in a sequel to my current fic, Firelily.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: My first one shot and competition all in one! This is written for and inspired by the 'Sharing a Bed' competition by alyssialui for ATLAFC.

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Fire is Life

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"Tell me about your earliest memory," the idiot of a man sitting in a chair outside my cell asked. Not removing his eyes from the scroll in front of him. Coward, he can't even look at my pinky toe without shaking in his peasant made boots.

"Oh, well," I airily breathed out fondly reminiscing. "It was the first time I bended fire. A man in the court had been pestering me with too many questions and I burned his shin" I watched the so-called 'psychiatrist' gulp and increase his intake of breathes. How I loved watching them squirm!

"Relax, it was only a quip." I leaned back against the wall of the asylum walls, readjusting the chains so I could be more comfortable.

"Very amusing your highness," he remarked in a monotone.

"My real first memory was when I was quite young. A time before I had lost all respect for my failure of a brother."

"Failure? I believe your brother is the Firelord." My eyes snapped up to the man and well... I can't quite describe the next few events that took place, without scaring the children do love to hear the tales of myself, my brother, and the air bending tattooed freak. So I shall skip the gory details and leave that for only my pride to enjoy.

Long story short however, the next day I was assigned a new cell and a new 'psychiatrist' since my prior would only be able to psychoanalyze his own doctors for the next several months.

"Good morning princess Azula, my name is Kazuki. I will be taking over Kyofu until his full recovery." I pursed my lips from behind the metal mask they placed over my mouth to keep from fire bending. I sighed exasperatedly.

"Okay number seventeen, how long do you think you have before you either run out of here screaming or run out of here without one or more of your limbs," I quirked my eyebrow up. He surprised me by looking me straight in the eyes for a change.

"I believe I will be in here until I am able to help you get past whatever it is you need help accepting, forgiving, or letting go of." I decided to give him a week before completely breaking him down. I admired strength and dedication in people.

"Shall we pick up where Kyofu left off," he read over the last scroll the last buffoon had left.

"Being carried out by seven healers? While it's most ideal for me, I'm not sure how much you would enjoy it," I cackled at my own joke. He simply sent me a dissatisfied look.

"What? It was funny, you should laugh," I snapped.

"There will be a time to laugh later," he suggested and pulled his chair closer to the new cell despite the guards' worried glances. He waved them off. "For now, we will talk about your earliest memory." I figured I would comply having nothing better to do at the moment.

"Very well, my first memory was when I was very young. We were at a family function and I had displayed my fire bending abilities to my father, uncle, and grandfather where Zuko had yet to even produce his first flame. My father and grandfather were very impressed with me. There was a catch though, they were furious that Zuko was not excelling in his duty to the Firenation like I was. I remember that later that night at dinner, my father had said that it was my mother's fault that he was not yet bending. He began to strike her; the servants pulled myself and Zuko away from the table.

They prepared us for bed instead of our mother that night. An hour past our bedtime, Zuko had snuck into my room and awoken me.

"Azula," he called out. I sat up in and found him standing at the foot of my bed.

"What do you want," I asked, maybe a little forcefully, but not enough for him to tear up the way he did.

"Do you think moms okay," he asked trying to be the brave boy he never has been pull back the tears.

"No, I think if dad has killed her he would be right to," I laid down, finished with the conversation.

"Azula, I'm being serious," Zuko yanked the blanket off of me from the bottom of my bed. I sat up again with a huff.

"Of course I'm being serious. If you really can't bend, then it is her fault because she can't either and that means she passed that onto you. Maybe he'll kill you too," I remarked.

He continued to stand at the foot of my bed as I impatiently waited for him leave. Nothing has annoyed me more than a weak character.

"Teach me," he commanded.

"Not at this hour," I shrugged and laid back down.

"Do it or I'll tell the staff to sneak water chestnuts in your food for a week; you know they'll do it for me," he threated moving from the foot of the bed to the side I was facing way from. At three years of age, I hated water chestnuts more than my brother so I haughtily stood up from my bed and commanded him to come to the center of the room.

"Stand strong," I yelled at him. He spread his feet a shoulder width apart and held his arms in front of him in fists.

"Fire is all about anger," I advised. "Even if you're not angry, make something to be angry at."

"Like what," he asked. I lit a tiny spark up and shot it at his feet. He screamed like a child and began crying.

"That really hurt Azula," he finished stomping out his foot. I shrugged.

"You're such a wuss, that's why you'll never fire bend, that or mom really is a traitor to the Firenation."

"Shut your mouth Azula," he threatened.

"No, because I'm right and you know it. If you don't fire bend that means mom has failed in giving this nation a strong male leader who can actually protect its people." He growled and clenched his fists.

"That's not true," he yelled.

"Maybe I'll get the throne instead so that our people wont have to deal with a weakling as its leader."

"Shut up," he screamed and a blast of fire was sent in my direction. I folded my arms with a smirk and returned to my bed while Zuko stayed frozen in the same stance as he just had fire bended in.

"Thank you Azula," he said from the side of my bed.

"Yeah, yeah, now leave I'm tired," I shooed him away but he didn't leave.

"What is it," I huffed turning over on my side so I could see him. He was being such a noxious brat that day. He could have been crowned at that moment but he would still find a reason to be an emotional mess.

He fiddled with his hands for a while not looking me in the eye. I could tell he wanted something else.

"Spit it out Zuzu," I huffed again.

"C-Can I sleep in here," he asked. I rolled my eyes and scooted over to the edge of my bed. He climbed in on the other edge. We looked as if neither of us wanted to be in that bed. However I think, looking back, that on that night we needed each other."

"Hadn't you just said you were okay with your brother being killed," Kazuki interrupted the story. I realized the nostalgic and calm state I had gone into remembering that night and felt oddly disgusted with myself. Petty moments such as those meant nothing to me.

"Yes, well as children I guess we would say and do things that we didn't understand. I'll never understand allowing him to sleep in my bed."

"Maybe it was your subconscious love for your brother that kept you from denying him." He jotted a few notes down on his paper.

"Yes, and right now I think my subconscious is telling me to relive the events of yesterday." I melted the chains holding my right hand off the wall and went to slash them at him. He pulled up a wall of frozen water calmly. I was surprised. The fools had suddenly adopted a brain. They hired a water bender as my psychiatrist. Clever, but I could find many more playful ways to deal with this man.

"I'll be back in tomorrow Princess Azula," his calm voice was muffled through the wall of ice. A dart was shot from one of the guards through the ice and stuck into my leg. I laughed at the prick. My vision started to fade and the twenty guards came running into my cell to reattach my hands to new chains.

}{}{}{

"Azula," Zuko called out from the other side of the bed.

"What brother," I snapped.

"Do you really think dad is going to kill mom tonight," he asked from the other side. I was silent for a while.

"No." I said a little quieter and softer than I had the rest of the night. I heard watched him sigh with relief.

"Azula," he called out again.

"What," I asked again, starting to feel my own childish tears well up in my eyes, remembering the way my father had stroke my mother and the way I could feel it as if were my own face.

"I promise that no matter what, I will always take care of you. You're my sister." We fell asleep together like that. Separated far apart but with the knowledge that the other was still within the others reach if need be.

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My eyes blurred open and before I was fully awake I could already feel my brothers presence in the room.

"Well hello Zuzu," I cooed from my restrained position on a chair, they always made me look in a better condition when my brother was around.

"Don't bother firebending, we had someone block your chi before you fully woke up." A guard from the side commented. I laughed.

"Fear has a magical ability to make people act smarter," I sniveled at the guard whose scar was still visible from the time he had forgotten to block my chi before waking up.

"Why are you here, its Tuesday, you come on Wednesdays," I turned my attention back to Zuko.

"A meeting was canceled today." Zuko bent over to pour some tea. I rolled my eyes.

"So you came here to spend the time with me. How sweet," I teased. He looked me straight in the eyes. I lulled my head over to the side not being able to hold it up any longer from the effects of the chi block and sedative. His gaze turned sympathetic. We were very far apart from each other since it was all the rules would allow for, but I could hear him loud and clear.

"I promise that no matter what, I will always take care of you. You're my sister." The words rang out in my head continuously, alternating between the child version of him and the older version. My eyes opened wide. I could hear my mother whispering at me. _He's lying. _I laughed. Silly Zuzu, there's no need to lie, I know the truth. I laughed harder. _Zuko is a traitor to the Firenation, you should kill him. _I laughed even harder and pulled against the restraints.

Zuko stood up from his seat and calmly began walking away. I began to spill drool from my mouth as I laughed.

_If you kill him, maybe then it will please me._

Zuko reached the door and the guards turned to follow him out. I could still see Zuko standing outside the door. My laughter filled the entire cement cell.

_He's escaping, KILL HIM NOW! _I finally freed of the chi block and exploded my cloth restraints off my body. I charged for the door in an almost drunk stagger with my laughter turning into harsh sobs.

"Fire is rage," I screamed out of the bars on the cell door.

"Fire is anger," I screamed again breathing fire out. Zuko and the guards dodged to the side. Zuko pulled up to door again, without fear.

"Fire is life Azula," he said to me. "I'm going to help you get yours back on track."

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A/N: Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed it. I really like Kazuki, I might use him in future chapters of Firelily or maybe the sequel to it.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Another challenge for the AtLAFC! Just a one-shot, but it kind of goes along with one of my other one-shots I did. Warning, this is dark. Implied rape, no details.

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There was a constant drip of water that rang through the cell. I was chained down to a metal slab however instead of the normal soreness I received from having my body laying against a hard surface, the psychiatrist had ordered that I be given a pillow and some padding to create a comfortable space. I stared up into the darkness of the ceiling where I know mother was watching down at me with her slithering lying eyes.

Kazuki entered the cell and sat down in a chair next to the makeshift bed I was strapped down to.

"How are you feeling today Princess Azula," his monotone voice rang out through the stony room. There was a line in between my bed and his chair that ran across the room that held water that constantly flowed through. It was a clever trick they had invented; hiring a water bender to care for the Fire Princess. Tricks could always be outshone though by bigger and more clever ones.

"Oh, you know," I airily began to respond, "I'll manage." I eyed mother suspiciously, she seemed oddly calm for once. She just stayed in the corner of the ceiling and watched.

"Would you allow me to try a new method of therapy today," Kazuki asked keeping the same tone of voice he always has. It was amazing how well he built his wall up against showing emotion. I had countless times created scenarios that would have had the guards running from the building; I even used a few old methods that made the other sixteen therapists and doctors resign. He stayed and didn't even show the slightest bit of fear.

"If you insist," I shrugged and heard the chains that held me down jingle from my shift. I could hear a few drips of water as he bended some of the water out of the shallow, grated well. I watched as he began to spin the water from above my head to circle around me under the slab back to over my head. After a few cycles of this the water began to illuminate. I rolled my eyes. He planned on hypnotizing me.

"I'd like you to relax yourself," his voice echoed through the room.

"I'd be much more relaxed without these shackles." I smirked when I saw two guards walk over and hesitantly unlock the chains from my wrists and ankles. _Idiots_. As soon as the shackles were released, I swung my feet to the right sweeping fire along with it and was ready to flip myself up but instead was brought to complete stillness. I could only numbly stare with open eyes at Kazuki who had one thumb pressed to my forehead and the other pressed in the center of my chest.

"I want you to show me why your mother haunts you," his eyes stared right into mine and seemed to bleed into my head.

_ I sat at the breakfast table and eyed around. Something large had happened, however I couldn't tell what it was. The servants all whispered to each other and neither of my parents had presented themselves to the table yet to come eat. Zuzu sat beside me sniffling but wouldn't talk. His voice would only annoy me anyway. Obviously, father hadn't killed Zuko like he was told to._

_ A servant came out and placed a plate of fruit in front of me. She bowed and retreated to her station awaiting my command. I ate some of the fruit and watched Zuko ignore the food that was in front of him. _

_ "Eat the fruit Zuzu, be thankful that you are alive to enjoy it," I smirked and watched him leave the table in a fit of anger. He began to march out of the morning breakfast dinning area until he ran into father who was standing tall with a smile at his lips._

_ "Return to your seat Zuko, I have news," father sneered at him. He sat down at the head of the table as usual, and Zuko resumed the spot he had just left. My father waited a moment then waved his hand for the servants and guards to leave the room._

_ "Your grandfather passed in his sleep last night. While it is an… unfortunate event, we have earned a great profit from his passing. Just last night before he went to sleep, he decided that if he were to die, that I would be crowned Firelord opposed to my brother."_

_ "When will you and mother be crowned," I asked smirking._

_ "I will be crowned to the public next Saturday," he responded stressing the 'I.' I understood what he had implied and Zuko presumably did as well since he pushed his gaze away from father._

_ "Azula, your trainers have brought it to my attention that your skills have greatly increased. You will be given an additional few hours of training a day to embrace your talent." I bowed my head and smiled confidently feeling the glory that was being given to me. I glanced towards Zuko who was on the verge of tears at the table._

_ "I have business to attend to, I expect to see you both at dinner." Father stood from the table and left the room. The servants and guards returned to their posts in the room. I finished my meal and was guided to the training arena. I spent the majority of my day there and underwent the additional training. They pushed me to learn new techniques that were typically saved for a much older bender. _

_It was nearly sundown when I was told to bathe and prepare myself for dinner. Mothers seat remained unpopulated in fact the staff did not even prepare her seat. Zuko was still somber._

"_Your uncle will be arriving here in a few days." Father spoke up from the table._

"_Does that mean he will be declared Firelord since he is coming back," Zuko asked._

"_No, don't you listen? I will be declared Firelord, it was written by Firelord Azulong," father snapped at Zuko slamming his hand down on the table. I smirked when Zuko jumped from the burst of anger directed at him from father. Zuko bowed his head and stayed silent. We finished our dinner talking about my new training and how well I excelled in the new material presented to me._

_I was being prepared for bed when one of my fathers servants came into the room._

"_Firelord Ozai requests the presence of Fireprincess Azula," the servant bowed. My servant and his stared at each other for a moment. I impatiently watched my servant._

"_Well, are you going to fetch my robe or not," I asked agitated that she was not following her duties appropriately. She turned back to me with a very subdued look. I raised an eyebrow as she hesitated to follow my order. She did eventually grab my robe and placed it on my body. I tied the robe shut and followed my father's servant out of my room and through the halls._

_When we reached the tall double doors to my father's room the servant knocked at the doors._

"_Bring her in," the strong voice of my father ran through the thick mahogany doors. When I entered I noticed that most of my mothers items were cleared out of the room. My father's servant opened the door for me to enter then shut it behind me._

_My father was standing in his night clothes by the window when I entered. I bowed to him when he turned around and looked in my direction._

"_Come here Azula," my he ordered. I obeyed and walked over to the window. He placed his hand on my back and guided me closer to look out of it. "This entire nation is in my control, and someday I will pass on that responsibility to you," he let his hand lay on my shoulder and squeezed it._

"_What about Zuko I asked," I couldn't help the smile that was coming to my face._

"_Things can be arranged," he said with a cynical tone. I continued smiling and brought my gaze back to the nation._

"_There is one condition I will ask in exchange for this generous gift I will bestow on you Azula," my father looked down at me after a moment. _

"_Anything father," I greedily looked out the window. He placed his other hand on my other shoulder and faced me to him. I looked up at him._

"_There are duties that your mother was responsible for through our marriage. Those needs are no longer being met by her and I need them to be fulfilled by you Azula," I had never seen him give me a look as the one he gave me in that moment. I had the sudden sensation of fear which is one that I didn't normally feel. He picked me up into his arms and walked me over to his bed and placed me down in the middle. I could see his silhouette through the sheer curtains take his shirt off._

_I watched him through the curtains confused. After he finished placing his shirt onto a chair near the bed, I could see his hand slide through the curtains and pull it to the sides. I had a horrible sensation in my stomach as if I would throw up. He pulled apart the curtains so that only his face was visible._

"_Dad," my voice questions as I started to scoot back as he started to slide past the curtains onto the bed with me. He leaned forward and grabbed the ribbon of my robe._

I fought against the hypnotic state that I was pushed into so much that I finally broke free of the hold that Kazuki held on me. Mother was now standing right by the side of the table with a firm grasp on my arm.

I flew out flame from every direction and pushed Kazuki backwards until he flew against the wall. The guards ran behind the line and tried to fight me back as I lashed out.

"She told you to look for that," I screamed out and tried lashing at Kazuki.

"She's jealous that father would rather have had me than her, his own wife," I started to generate a lightning blast and was ready to aim it for Kazuki. This was the first time I had ever seen any sign of emotion from him.

I was anticipating the fear that was going to be in the fool's eyes. Instead of fear there was another emotion that I had not expected. He was starting to walk towards me in the empty room and reached out his hand. His eyes were filled with a comfort that I had never found before. I let the lightning miss him because I was so hypnotized by his sedated attitude.

Silence was the only sound I could hear in the room. The constant drip didn't even dare to continue. My mother was standing back in the corner of the room. Kazuki took a few more steps forward hesitantly. He didn't dare to reach his hand out to touch me but I could feel the comfort that he wanted to give me radiate from his body.

"Your mother is a figment of your imagination created by your subconscious, childhood self to comfort you," I pressed my hands over my ears.

"You're lying," I backed up slowly.

"Except she doesn't comfort; you wanted her to comfort you but you had never experienced her truly being a compassionate parent towards you do to the attention she was giving her brother. When your subconscious created her for your comfort it created a woman who only provided you with paranoia and distrust." I collapsed against the back of the cell wall next to mother. I looked up at her and found her judgmental and stern eyes.

"We've passed by the hardest obstacle, know that we know why you've created this woman, you can begin traveling down the path towards recovery." Kazuki slowly walked away from me. I lashed out. I wanted to see his ashes at my feet. I attacked him with all the strength I could muster. He brought the wall of water up but that wasn't enough to stop the constant waves of fire I was sending in his direction.

He tripped backwards from the force of my attack but brought some water up to keep his skin from being burnt off. I continued throwing blast after blast until I was close enough to grab him by his throat and hold him against the wall of the cell. I made a blade out of fire in my fist. I stared into his eyes, I wanted to see the rush of fear and maybe even some pleading tears before I ended his pitiful life. Neither were present though. Even as he lost oxygen he didn't seem to panic, he looked me in the eyes without judgment, fear, anger or even hatred. This made me hesitate my movement and gave a guard enough time to come in and jab me quickly three times. I felt my body go limp into the guards arms. The guard had blocked my chi, a technique that rendered my body useless.

I screamed out in frustration. My screaming sobs continued as the guard chained me to the wall again. Kazuki bowed his head and retreated from the room. Mother stood in the corner of the room her eyes glowing until the guard shut the door taking the small amount of light that filled the room away until I was left in silence and darkness with mother and my memories.

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A/N: Not my best, I'll probably redo it later when I'm a little more inspired.


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